Tuesday, March 2, 2010


Today is not a good day. I'm in a foul mood that I haven't been able to shake since I woke up. I'm very pessimistic today, for some unknown reason, but it feels like everything is going wrong. It's a mini-funk.

I really hope I can snap out of it soon. I don't want to do anything except sleep, and eat Girl Scout cookies. I definitely don't want to work out. I keep thinking that my weight is spiraling out of control. I know it's not, but the way I'm going now, it may turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The hardest thing I've had to do was to stay away from those damn Jillian Michaels pills. I feel like my body isn't responding the way I want it to quickly enough, and it needs a little boost. It's a vicious cycle. I eat a good number of calories throughout the day, to sustain me for my workouts. Then, something happens where I don't get to/don't want to do my workout, so I skip it, and I eat something I shouldn't, vowing to be good tomorrow. Then I wake up the next morning disappointed, and this happens all over again.

I'm not feeling very good about myself today. Yesterday I skipped Zumba. Today, I may skip it again...I really really really don't want to go because I'm so blown. I need to find some way to snap out of this without touching those damn pills. At the same time I don't want to get rid of them, because they worked so well.

I'm really trying to do this the healthy way. I may need to get that ballerina tea that my friend told me about that helped him lose 89 pounds. Maybe that's a good enough compromise.

Right now I'm in the mood where I don't care about losing weight or exercising. I hope tomorrow won't be like this. I'm going to play some Rock Band. Maybe I can pound my frustration away on the virtual drums.

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