I gained three pounds in two days, but I'm not surprised and I'm not mad. This was actually pretty inevitable, once I switched back to solid food. It's all scientific, really.
Typically, when our bodies are deprived of calories, they get used to performing at that level. Last week when I was on the liquid phase of the cleanse, I was taking in under 1000 calories a day, and was burning more than that, through exercise and running. So, I was netting probably in the negative, daily. According to Lose It, the app on the iPhone that I use to count calories, based on my weight, I should net about 1100 calories daily. So, my metabolism slowed down.
In addition, this week I'm giving my joints a rest and not running. It's sort of a treat to myself for finishing the Nike+ walk to run program. I think I need the time off because (a) I'm super-busy this week, and (b) the 5K training program is hard! Next week, I'll be running up to 4 miles a day. So, I need to mentally prepare for that.
I should probably sign up to do a race to see how far I've come, but I'm still pretty disenchanted with racing. Last time I ran a race was in October. It was my second 5K. The first one was in August, and I had gotten a sucky time of 53 minutes and some change. I had barely come in before two blue-haired old ladies, who were walking.
Anyway, in the October race, I wanted to beat my time, and not come in last. I knew that I was supposed to just be focusing on getting a better time, but my entire life, I'd been coming in last, and I was always ashamed when I did. I was tired of being ashamed. I was not going to come in last.
When the race started, I tried to maintain my pace, but it was pretty hard with everybody passing me. I wanted to run faster, too, because I hate when people pass me. But when I did, I got tired. Soon I was walking. Slllloooooowwwwwwllllyyyy. Now EVERYBODY was passing me, even the walkers. However, when I looked back around the halfway mark, there was still one person right behind me.
She happened to be this girl in my running club. During our practice runs, the coach had made us partner up, because we were the slowest. The girl was better at running than me, but for some reason, she was walking a lot more than I was. I should have run with her, but my immaturity as a runner kicked in. Nope, can't be last. Gotta stay in front of her.
When I came down the last stretch, I started running at full speed. Since I was waaaay behind most of the crowd, I got so many cheers, and I even had a crowd member start running along side of me in the grass. This embarrassed me to no end.
Once again, I felt like same slow, chubby kid in middle school gym class. I felt like the crowd was cheering out of pity. Looking back, I'm sure that's not the case, but at the time, I wanted them to ignore me like they did to everyone else who didn't come in first.
I crossed the finish line, just under 48 minutes. Another sucky time, but at least it was 5 minutes better than the first one. I was slightly encouraged. And I hadn't come in last!
...That is, until the official times came out. My name was dead last paper, immortalized for the world to see. I was furious, especially since I saw two more women finishing the race after my club partner. It wasn't fair. I had come in fourth-to-last, not dead last! I was so embarrassed. I never ran with the running club again.
Eventually, I figured out that the race had a time limit, and I was the last person to make it before the cut-off. Looking back, my reaction was blown way out of proportion, but I'm actually glad I did quit the running club.
For the most part, the running club served to frustrate me. I wasn't ready. Honestly, I needed to come as far as I have on my own, before I could run with a group. I'm glad I had the experiences with them, to give me something to shoot for. Maybe I'll try it again someday, but definitely not soon.
The individualized Nike+ program has taken me from running one minute at a time to running for 30 minutes at a time. By next Friday, I'll probably double that.
It may be time for me to run a race, but I don't know if I'm mentally ready yet. October was only four months away. Recently, when I went to a local middle school track to run, I got smoked by a power-walking blue-haired lady. She was on point.
The old me would have probably given up. But I swallowed my pride, stuck to my guns, and finished my workout. I think I need to get to the point where I don't even pay attention, and just focus on myself. I'm sure that will come in time.
I'm weighing in again tomorrow. I need to make sure I start losing weight soon. Last thing I wanna do is look down at the scale and be over 190 again. Pictures will come when I'm under 185.
Total weight lost: 36
To 165: 23
To 139: 49
Days left on cleanse: 4
Next scheduled weigh-in: TOMORROW